本帖最后由 小山林卡 于 2019-8-30 19:06 编辑
( G7 R2 }8 y/ j* q* oPart 4
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Sugar flushes hot red to the roots of her hair. Betrayed! But bywhom? The Colonel, probably …Hisvow is worth nothing, the old pig …
: P, r) d* B" ~6 } J苏糖的脸直红到发梢。被背叛!可被谁呢?也许是上校吧……他的承诺一文不值,那头老猪… 1 Y- ~( _2 p3 T- a# m
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‘Howdid you find out?’
X: c2 l6 K7 Q% x5 S$ U) ?“你怎么知道的?” ' u: a: _: Q% w h, ~
' e& O; S! A9 \2 T3 m) E‘I’mnot daft, Shush,’ says Caroline wryly, still coaxing the flamesthrough the wood. ‘You told me you was kept by a rich man; and thenmy poor parson said ’e could find me work with Rackham’s; and today you tell meyou knew my parson too … And o’course I know one of the Rackhams got burnt todeath in ’is house not long ago …’ 0 r: B2 K; X; L I4 a8 O
“我又不蠢,嘘,”卡洛琳面无表情地说道,仍旧用木头逗弄着火焰。“你之前告诉过我你被留在一个有钱男人的身边;然后我那可怜的教区牧师说过他可以帮我在拉克姆家找份活;而今天你说你也认识我的牧师……而且我还知道了不久前拉克姆家的一个人在他的房子里被活活烧死……” ; p4 D5 ?5 x# ~2 E& n, ` E& {
2 M" V4 h* [' W‘Buthow did you know that?’ persists Sugar. Caroline’s not a reader, and the skyover Church Lane is so palled-over with foulness that the whole of Notting Hillcould burn down without anyone here noticing the smoke. ( ], b; c5 |1 I. E9 d* D( ~
“但这你又是怎么知道的呢?”苏糖追问道。卡洛琳并不是一个会去读报的人。而教堂巷又完全被阴影和污垢笼罩;即使整个诺丁山都着火了,这儿也不会有人注意到浓烟。 % D2 W" {$ v2 w" S
4 F5 V( a. i$ I# P6 p‘Somemisfortunes,’ sighs Caroline, ‘I can’t ’elp but ’ear about.’ She pointstheatrically downwards, through the floor, through the woodwormy honeycombof Mrs Leek’s house to the parlour where the Colonel sits with his newspapers. 0 K y- b2 W5 p
“有些不幸,”卡洛琳叹了口气,“我也不想听说这些事。”她戏剧化地向下一指,穿过了地板,穿过了被蛀虫咬成蜂巢状的里克太太的家,直接指向了上校坐着看报的客厅。 + W5 Q) l8 {3 G9 i, l0 J
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‘Butwhy do you call my … my companion “Old Man Rackham”?’ 1 `( S$ J! G. @2 X
“但是你为什么管我的……我的朋友叫‘拉克姆老头’?” ( x& B% H& w0 k; l
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‘Well,’e’s ancient, ain’t ’e? Me own mother ’ad some Rackham’s perfume, as I recall,for special occasions.’ She narrows her eyes at a memory as distant as themoon. ‘“One bottle lasts a year”!’ , p; l' M/ b V S$ x7 M5 F5 H
“呃,因为他很老了,不是吗?我记得我妈有一些专门用在特殊场合的拉克姆香水。”她眯起了眼睛,回想起了像月亮那么远的往事。“‘一瓶能用一年呢’!”
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6 H" P- m# w3 m: M' K; e‘No,no,’ says Sugar, (making a mental note to advise William to expunge that vulgarmotto from Rackham advertising) ‘it’s not the father, but the son I’m … keptby. The surviving son, that is. He took the reins of thebusiness only this year.’ : r; b/ Z& a8 w Q2 P$ k8 ?
“不,不,”苏糖说道,(记得建议威廉把这句庸俗的标语从拉克姆的广告上撤掉)“不是那位父亲,我是被……他的儿子留在身边的。就是那个还活着的儿子。他今年才刚刚接手家里的生意。”
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‘And’ow does ’e treat yer?’
5 v7 ~- {: A: D; Q8 t- I, @' j“那他待你如何?” % ?, G+ c& R8 f, J/ A2 K
4 ?: S; H9 ]7 A- M6 W- ~4 c/ q+ S‘Well…’ Sugar gestures at the abundant skirts of her expensive finery. ‘As you cansee …’ 1 ^" p. W g) I# d
“呃……”苏糖指了指她那一堆昂贵华丽的裙子。“如你所见……” 4 W0 |* ~4 {. t& K8 S
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‘Clothesdon’t mean nuffink,’ shrugs Caroline. ‘’E might beat you with a poker, or makeyou lick’is shoes.’ 0 q% T9 T; w4 @# W c
“衣服什么也说明不了,”卡洛琳耸了耸肩。“他可能会用拨火棍揍你,或者逼着你舔他的鞋。”
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‘No,no,’ says Sugar hastily. ‘I–I’ve no complaints.’ Nagged all of a sudden by theneed to empty her bladder, she yearns to be gone (she’ll piss outside, not inhere!). But Caroline, God bless her, hasn’t finished yet.
7 m$ d, G& v3 `' k m. j“不,不,”苏糖赶紧说。“我,我毫无怨言。”一阵尿意突然袭来,她有点想离开了(她要在外面小便,而不是在这里!)。但卡洛琳,上帝保佑她,还没说完。
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‘Oh,Shush: what mighty good luck!’ 3 q; H. B |! ~- p9 }/ O
“噢,好啦:这是多好的运气啊!” 7 ?! ^8 P4 x7 O/ A& {7 |9 p
: B9 L( L) x, c, _; ~Sugarsquirms in her seat. ‘I wish every woman’s luck could be the same.’
6 e* J1 [. \$ j* Y& d7 p! A0 x! C, }+ h苏糖在她的座位上扭动着。“我希望每个女人都能这么好运。” # P( J, A0 E$ G( Q" P4 b
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‘Don’tI wish it too!’ Caroline laughs. ‘But a woman needs graces and ’complishmentsto rope in that sort of fortune. Sluts like me, now … we ain’t got what ittakes to please a gentleman – except on ’ere’ (she pats the bed-sheets) ‘for ashort spell.’ Her eyes go slightly crossed with pleasure, as she realises she’sthought of something genuinely clever to say. ‘That’s the word for it, ain’t itShush: a spell, like a magic spell. If I can catch ’em while their cock’sstiff, they’re in me power. Me voice sounds to ’em like music, me walk is likean angel on the clouds, me bosom makes ’em fink of their own dear Nurse, andthey looks deep into me eyes like they can see Paradise through ’em. But assoon as their cock goes soft …’ She snorts, miming the end of passion with onelimp-wristed hand. ‘My, but don’t they take offence at me coarsetongue! And me slattern’s walk! And me saggy dugs! And when they looks a secondtime at me face, don’t they just see the grubbiest little trollop they evermade the mistake of touchin’ without gloves on!’ Caroline grins in cheerfuldefiance, and looks to her friend for the same; instead she’s startled towitness Sugar covering her face with her hands and bursting into tears. ' o( R" ]. Q6 W: t3 I5 N
“难道我不想这样吗!”卡洛琳笑道。“但是一个女人需要魅力和成就才能有那种运气吧。像我这样的荡妇,现在……我们没有能够取悦一个绅士的品质——除了在‘那里’(她拍着床单)‘用很短时间’。”她的两眼正带着笑意微微内斜;她意识到她想到了一个非常机智的表达。“就是这个词,不是吗,嘘:一个咒语,就像一个魔法咒语。如果我能在那些男人硬起来的时候抓住他们,他们就在我的掌控之中。我的声音对他们来说如音乐般美妙,我的步伐好似天使走在云端,我的乳房让他们想起了自己亲爱的奶妈;他们深深地凝视着我的眼睛,仿佛能从里面看见天堂。但只要他们一软下来……”她轻蔑地一哼,用一只软塌塌的手表演着激情的退却的最终情景。“我的天,他们难道不嫌弃我粗俗的语言吗!和我荡妇般的步伐!还有我下垂的乳房!当他们再一次看见我的脸时,他们看见的难道不仅仅是个肮脏的小妓女,一个他们后悔没有戴着手套再碰的妓女吗!”卡洛琳带着愉快的蔑视咧嘴笑着,试图从她朋友的脸上找到类似的表情;相反,她吃惊地看见苏糖正用手捂着脸,放声大哭。 9 f7 _. d V, i f$ X4 w9 n6 k% T5 f
. \# t A+ p- U) W‘Shush!’she exclaims in bewilderment, rushing to Sugar’s side and laying one arm overthe girl’s convulsing back. ‘What’s the matter, what’ve I said?’ ! b( [6 e& h5 ~1 J1 U
“嘘!”她困惑地大喊,冲到了苏糖的身边,一只手搭在抽泣的姑娘背上。“怎么啦,我说什么啦?” 0 U& Z& T9 t# h7 f
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‘I’mno longer your friend!’ sobs Sugar, the words muffled inside her palms. ‘I’vebecome a stranger to you, and I hate this place, I hate it. Oh,Caddie, how can you stand to see me? You’re poor; I live inluxury. You’re trapped; I’m free. You’re open-hearted; I’m full of secrets. I’mso full of schemes and plots, nothing interests me if it doesn’t concern theRackhams. Every word I speak I look up and down twice before it leaves mymouth. Nothing I say comes from my heart …’ Her palms roll into fists and she knucklesher rage into her wet cheeks. ‘Even these tears are false. I chooseto shed them, to make myself feel better. I’m false! False! False to the bone!’ 1 W5 U1 E7 D1 T5 g4 l7 Q# q
“我不再是你的朋友了!”苏糖啜泣着,声音从她的掌心里模糊不清地传出。“我对你来说已经全然是个陌生人了。我恨这个地方,我恨它。噢,卡迪,你怎么能忍受再看到我呢?你穷困潦倒;而我享受着锦衣玉食。你身陷泥潭;而我自由自在。你坦率光明;而我充满秘密。我的生活充满着阴谋诡计;只有关于拉克姆的事情才能引起我的兴趣。我说每句话之前都要再三思考。我所说的每句话都不是出自真心……”她把手攥成了拳头,把愤怒从指关节发泄到她潮湿的脸颊上。“甚至连这些眼泪都不是真心的。我选择让它们掉落,好让自己好受点。我太虚伪了!太虚伪!虚伪到骨子里了!”
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‘Enough,girl,’ soothes Caroline, gathering Sugar’s head and shoulders against herbreast. ‘Enough. 2 ]9 y/ |! F0 d5 r0 Y
“好了,姑娘,”卡洛琳安慰道,让苏糖的头和肩膀倚着她的胸口。“好了。 ! u7 \# Y: [0 s6 H5 ?
5 _" K8 }6 ]3 ]/ H7 `We are what we are. What you can’t feel … well,it’s lost, it’s gone, and that’s all there is to it. Cryin’don’t bring back maidenheads.’ % c! z, E4 z, ?3 ]% T% ?0 k
我们就是我们。你所感受不到的东西……唔,它就这么消失了,就这么没了。仅此而已。哭泣并不能帮你复原你的处女膜。” 0 S! }/ ?+ m9 E ~
9 s" Z. E- ?3 _5 ~' w2 rButSugar weeps on and on. It’s the first time since she was a child – a very youngchild, before her mother began to wear red and call herself Mrs Castaway – thatshe’s wept like this on the bosom of a female. 可苏糖还是一直不停地流着泪。这是她自孩提时以来——从一个非常小的孩子,在她妈妈开始穿红衣服并自称卡斯特薇太太之前——第一次在一个女人的胸前这般哭泣。 & g" c8 f, d/ f
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‘OhCaddie,’ she snivels. ‘You’re better than I deserve.’ % { b) }7 k4 J
“噢,卡迪,”她啜泣着。“我不值得你这么好的人。” 8 U- x: k0 _" b; e
" t/ w q8 Z }7 |4 g‘Butstill not good enough, eh?’ teases the older woman, poking her sharply inthe ribs. ‘See? I can read yer thoughts, girl, read ’em rightthrough yer skull. And I ’ave to say, without no lie’ – she pauses for effect
6 I3 x7 v, e a( }“但我还没那么好,对吗?”这个年长的女人取笑她道,猛地向她的肋骨处戳了下。“看见没?我能读懂你的想法,姑娘,穿过头颅直接读到你脑内。我必须说,而且毫不夸张” ——她为了效果停顿了下。 & @1 a( X h+ T! ?4 I8 R
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–‘I’ve read worse.’ ! S# N" y* U) ^9 }/ a) j: x: p
—— “我读到过更糟的。” ' T, a% `- w2 t- Z: }
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Inthe darkening room, as the warmth from the fire begins to spread, the two ofthem keep hold of one another, for as long as it takes Sugar to regainher composure, and Caroline to get a sore back from bending.
4 t3 y6 ]8 ]* M在逐渐昏暗的房间里,炉火带来的温暖开始蔓延,她们两个互相依偎着,直到苏糖重新恢复镇静。卡洛琳因为一直弯腰,背有些酸。
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‘Ugh!’says the older woman in mock-complaint, removing her arm from the younger. ‘You’vedone me back in, you ’ave. Worse than a man thatwants it wiv me arse ’n’ legs in the air.’ " @& t# F6 r. d1 ^6 L5 G7 ?7 |
“哈!”年长的女人嘲笑着抱怨道,把胳膊从年轻女孩的身上移开。“你以前也没省我什么力气 。比想要我的腿和屁股在空中晃动的男人还要坏。” & v T: O8 u; E% x9 J
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‘I–Ireally must go,’ says Sugar, the ache in her bladder returning with avengeance. ‘It’s getting late.’ 6 c- R$ b/ C$ E4 O* v, `
“我,我真的得走了,”苏糖说道,她的膀胱又猛地痛了起来。“时间不早了。”
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‘Soit is, so it is. Now, where’s me shoes?’ Caroline fetches herboots out from under the bed, innocently flashing Sugar a teasing glimpseof a chamber-pot. She slaps the dirt from her feet, and pulls her boots on.‘But one more question,’ she says, as she begins to button them up. ‘I’malways finkin’ to ask you this just after you’re away. That time Isaw you in that paper shop in Greek Street – remember? And you were buyin’ allthat writin’ paper.’ Undreds ’n’ ’undreds ’n’ ’undreds of sheets. Now, what wasthat all about?’
7 F% Z0 D. k* C“的确,的确。诶,我的鞋在哪?”卡洛琳从床下拿出她的靴子,状似无意般地让苏糖瞥见了一个便壶。她拍掉了脚上的泥土,套上靴子。“可还有一个问题,”她边说边开始扣靴子。“每次你刚走我就想问你。那次我在希腊街的纸店里看见你了——还记得吗?你当时在买写字用的纸。买了好多好多好多张。所以,那些纸是干什么用的?” ! E3 |1 d; A7 ?4 }
- M3 z* P" P& ^7 P8 a* q% R" sSugardabs her eyes, tender from weeping. She could weepall over again, with a touch more provocation. ‘Did I never tell you? I’m … Iwas … writing a book.’ , {) c, {5 d" \. K5 K5 s* y
苏糖轻掖着她的眼睛,从抽泣中平和下来。再来一点点刺激,她就能立马重新开始哭泣。“我难道从来没告诉过你吗?我正……我当时在……写一本书。” 8 y3 Q$ ?* G S ]
+ G& a! F' f7 a+ Q/ f‘Abook?’ echoes Caroline incredulously. ‘God’s oath? A real book, like … like …’(she looks all around the room, but there’s not a book to be seen, save for thetobacco-tin-sized New Testament her parson once gave her, now blocking amouse-hole in the skirting-board) ‘like the ones in bookshops?’
3 k# \( t' E0 I9 q“一本书?”卡洛琳不敢置信地重复道。“我的老天爷?一本真正的书,像……像……”(她环顾房间,却没找到一本书,除了她的牧师曾经给她的那本烟草罐大小的新约全书,现在在壁脚板上堵老鼠洞)“像书店里的那些书?”
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‘Yes,’sighs Sugar. ‘Like the ones in bookshops.’
2 `' q, {' e: v+ e“是的,”苏糖叹了口气。“就像书店里的那些。” * ~0 G) m; J/ _
Q: c M% G% F‘Andwhat ’appened: did you finish it?’ ) |: p7 Y# E9 v- Y8 u
“然后呢:你写完了吗?” 9 t8 o" Y- L& @
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‘No.’That’sall Sugar has the will to say, but she can see in Caroline’sexpression that it’s not enough. ‘But …’ she improvises, ‘I’m going to start anew one soon. A better one, I hope.’ 8 @% g7 {* j$ u: |7 d& }
“没。”这就是苏糖愿意说的全部了,但她从卡洛琳的表情中看出,这个答案并不够。“可是……”她随机编道,“我马上要开始写一本新书了。一本更好的,我希望是。” , \. p: L# \( B& y- Z9 D8 Q
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‘WillI be in it?’ 1 J' g# g" a5 ^! U3 q! x( F
“你会把我写进去吗?” / B, Z/ q9 ~( G0 \
9 L3 D3 X( K' M$ h. o7 v9 R‘Idon’t know yet,’ says Sugar miserably. ‘I’m only thinking aboutit. Caddie, I need to … use your pot.’
* t5 x3 K; }/ @* a, P) _“我还不知道呢,”苏糖痛苦地说道。“我只是在构思。卡迪,我得……用一下你的尿壶。” ! |. U ], H* ]# c; t7 P9 |* A# G: l
/ R* S- `% X: ]1 _) L& V7 o7 o‘Underthe bed, my dear.’ 4 p o; l( O* V& R0 c8 }- z6 @) M( `& X
“就在床下,亲爱的。”
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8 s) x3 C3 m. P- K& ?( m7 I‘Withoutyou looking at me.’ Sugar is blushing again, ashamed this time of feelingashamed. In their early years together, she and Caroline werelike beasts in a degenerate Eden; if ever the needhad arisen, they could have lain shoulder to shoulder, naked, and spreadtheir legs for the likes of Bodley and Ashwell.Now, her body is no one’s business but her own – and William’s.
q: m9 P+ e& E" F- c$ Q“你别看着我。”苏糖又一次脸红了,这次是因为感到羞耻。在她们在一起的最初几年,她和卡洛琳就好像堕落在伊甸园里的野兽;如果有生理需要,她们会肩并肩躺下,赤裸着身体,按照柏德利和阿什维尔的喜好展开她们的腿。现在,她的身体不是任何人的生意而是她自己的——还有威廉的了。
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7 ^3 j5 V% i. n8 S: z( Y: pCarolinegives her an odd look, but lets it pass. Briskly, she shifts from bed to chair,and continues buttoning up her boots while Sugar squats out of sight. ) L- t. A% Y; u& P5 [! r; A {: C! s
卡洛琳奇怪地看了她一眼,但也就随她去了。她快速地从床上转移到椅子上,在苏糖蹲到她视野之外的时候,继续扣着她的靴子。
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Silencefalls, at least in Caroline’s room: outside in Church Lane, life creaks andhoots and jabbers on; two men begin to quarrel, shouting in what sounds like aforeign language, and a harsh-voiced woman laughs. Sugar strains and strains tolet go, knees and fists trembling, but nothing will come.
% W& l* k6 X6 f- }* U: e寂静笼罩,至少在卡洛琳的房间里:在外面,教堂巷里,传来嘎吱声,叫喊声,叽里咕噜的说话声;两个男人开始大声争吵,有人像在用外语大喊,一个女人刺耳地笑着。苏糖使劲,用力地尿着,膝盖和拳头颤抖着,但什么也没尿出来。
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, n1 A! K4 F W. ~; b‘Talkto me,’ she pleads.
9 f% a+ c* K* l8 c! l) |0 w8 g“跟我说说话,”她恳求道。
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& _; ^6 q: R/ l3 h6 w/ y‘Whatabout?’
9 M; ^+ j8 m& X6 Z9 l; L( S“说什么?” * H* M. ?2 D% I0 g; M
' m3 r) z# U8 k4 g‘Anything.’ / @5 f2 Q8 s! S5 j2 p& L9 P
“什么都行。” 8 i8 Y; J9 P& h2 \1 E9 n9 d
" G! O3 h" e0 q. q9 ] B* |! B# c$ `8 ACarolineponders for a second, while outside, someone yells ‘Whore!’ and the laughterdisappears into an unseen stairwell. " O) @. {7 [ W5 l9 O4 A" b1 c
卡洛琳沉思了片刻。这时有人在外面大喊了一声“婊子!”,随后笑声消失在了看不见的楼梯井处。
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$ U: A& A- A& e3 I‘TheColonel wants more than whisky this time,’ she says. ‘’E wants snuff.’ $ L0 U7 m/ e$ y B0 `5 }' V" c& |
“上校这回不只想要威士忌了,”她说。“他还想要鼻烟。”
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Sugarlaughs, and under her yellow canopy of skirt, thank God, a muffled tricklebegins. ‘I’ll get him snuff.’ 7 Q9 E% E7 r* s: B- L8 E _3 S
苏糖笑了起来。在她黄色的裙撑下,谢天谢地,一阵细流开始闷声响起。“我会给他弄鼻烟的。” # o# s4 l* W' w; @* R
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‘It’as to be Indian snuff,’ e says. Dark, sticky stuff just like ’e ’ad in Delhi,durin’ the mutiny.’
- G0 a! y A* ]) a, r“必须得是印度鼻烟,他说。黑色的,粘粘的那种,就像在德里叛乱的时候,他抽的那个。”
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5 U6 c# W1 o* B1 ^- V, n+ [( L$ V‘Ifmoney can buy it, I can get it.’ Sugar stands up, tears of relief on her faceand, having concealed the evidence, steals around to the other side of the bed. , c( k5 q) }8 b
“如果用钱能买到,我就能弄到。”苏糖站了起来,脸上留下了解脱后的泪水。在擦去泪痕后,她悄悄走到了床的另一边。 8 b9 \( T1 c5 W. N2 ~- D3 E
2 M- W! A' n) m, _" v‘Youknow,’ Caroline prattles on, ‘I’d like to be in a book. Long as it was writtenby a friend, o’course.’
7 G! e p. M( L. h; U2 I“你知道,”卡洛琳继续闲聊道,“我想被写在书里。当然,得是我朋友写的书。”
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; N. R2 K7 n% v( Q‘Why,Caddie?’ 0 ~( l3 r, l# S5 h0 r
“为什么,卡迪?”
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2 p a- _6 r( p‘Well,standsto reason, dunnit: an enemy would make youout to be a right cow—’
" V* m& \' r+ k4 Z- y“唔,这才合乎常理,不是吗:敌人会丑化你的形象——” & ~) d' k; o- T9 H! u' u; |
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‘No,I meant why would you like to be in a book?’ 0 ` y% C9 b$ ?1 J1 I
“不,我是说你为什么会想被记写进一本书里?” & |' C+ P# C0 }" R0 y Y; Q Y
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