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Looking Out for The Lonely 寻找孤独的孩子 A few weeks ago, I went into my son Chase’s class for tutoring. I’d e-mailed Chase’s teacher one evening and said, “Chase keeps telling me that this stuff you’re sending home is math—but I’m not sure I believe him. Help, please.” She e-mailed right back and said, “No problem! I can tutor Chase after school anytime.” And I said, “No, not him. Me. He gets it. Help me.” 几周前,我去儿子蔡斯的班级上辅导课。之前的某天晚上,我给蔡斯的老师发了一封邮件,内容是:“蔡斯一直和我说他从学校带回来的东西都是数学----但是我不是很相信。所以,拜托老师辅导。“她很快回了信,并说:“没问题!我可以在课后任何时候辅导蔡斯。”我回复到:“不,不是辅导蔡斯,是我。他学得很好,是辅导我!” And that’s how I ended up standing at a chalkboard in an empty fifth-grade classroom while Chase’s teacher sat behind me, using a soothing voice to try to help me understand the “new way we teach long division.” Luckily for me, I didn’t have to unlearn much because I’d never really understood the “old way we taught long division.” It took me a solid hour to complete one problem, but I could tell that Chase’s teacher liked me anyway. She used to work with NASA, so obviously we have a whole lot in common. 因此,最终,我站在了一个五年级空教室的黑板前,蔡斯的老师坐在我后面,用缓和的声音试着让我理解“长除法教学新方法”。幸运的是,我本来就没有把“长除法教学旧方法”学好,所以原来的方法根本就没有多少可以忘却的地方。虽然我花了整整一个小时才解决了一个问题,但是我确信蔡斯的老师还是很喜欢我的。她曾经在美国国家航空航天局工作,所以,很显然,我们有着太多的共同点。 Afterward, we sat for a few minutes and talked about teaching children and what a sacred trust and responsibility it is. We agreed that subjects like math and reading are not the most important things that are learned in a classroom. We talked about shaping little hearts to become contributors to a larger community—and we discussed our mutual dream that those communities might be made up of individuals who are kind and brave above all. 上完课后,我们坐了会儿,聊了聊教导孩子以及神圣的信任和责任的真正意义所在。我们一致认为数学、阅读之类的课程并不是在课堂上应该学到的最重要的东西。我们谈论了把这些幼小的心灵塑造成一个个更大范围内团体的贡献者——我们还讨论了我们共同的梦想——让这些团体的成员,都是善良的人,最重要的是——都是勇敢的人。 And then she told me this. 然后她告诉我了一件事。 Every Friday afternoon, she asks her students to take out a piece of paper and write down the names of four children with whom they’d like to sit the following week. The children know that these requests may or may not be honored. She also asks the students to nominate one student who they believe has been an exceptional classroom citizen that week. All ballots are privately submitted to her. 每周五下午,她都会让学生们拿出一张小纸条,然后写下四个下周想一起坐的同学的名字。孩子们知道他们的要求也许会,也许不会有所兑现。她还让孩子们写下一个这周表现最好的同学的名字。所有的投票都在私下里交给她。 And every single Friday afternoon, after the students go home, she takes out those slips of paper, places them in front of her, and studies them. She looks for patterns. 每周五下午,当孩子们都回家后,她就会把这些纸条拿出来,放在桌子前,仔细的看。她在寻找一种固有的模式。 Who is not getting requested by anyone else? 谁没有收到别人的请求? Who can’t think of anyone to request? 谁没有提出请求? Who never gets noticed enough to be nominated? 谁从来没有被注意到、提名过? Who had a million friends last week and none this week? 谁上周有很多的朋友,而这周却一个也没有? You see, Chase’s teacher is not looking for a new seating chart or “exceptional citizens.” Chase’s teacher is looking for lonely children. She’s looking for children who are struggling to connect with other children. She’s identifying the little ones who are falling through the cracks of the class’s social life. She is discovering whose gifts are going unnoticed by their peers. And she’s pinning down—right away—who’s being bullied and who is doing the bullying. 其实,蔡斯的老师并不是在寻找一张新的座位表或者是表现优异的孩子,而是一个孤独的孩子。她在寻找一个不知如何与他人交流的孩子。她在寻找一个脱离了班级群体的孩子。她在寻找一个天赋没有被同龄同学发现的孩子。同时她也要立刻查明谁被欺负了,谁又在欺负别人。 As a teacher, parent, and lover of all children, I think this is the most brilliant Love Ninja strategy I have ever encountered. It’s like taking an X-ray of a classroom to see beneath the surface of things and into the hearts of students. It is like mining for gold—the gold being those children who need a little help, who need adults to step in and teach them how to make friends, how to ask others to play, how to join a group, or how to share their gifts. And it’s a bully deterrent because every teacher knows that bullying usually happens outside her eyeshot and that often kids being bullied are too intimidated to share. But, as she said, the truth comes out on those safe, private, little sheets of paper. 作为一个老师、家长以及一个热爱孩子的人,我认为这是我所见过的最富关爱也是最明智的方法。这就好像是在给整个班级照X光以便看到孩子的内心,隐藏在表面下的深层的东西。这也像是在淘金矿——而那些金子就是那些需要帮助的孩子,他们需要大人介入其中,教导他们如何交朋友,如何邀请别人一同玩耍,如何融入一个群体,亦或是如何与朋友分享才能。欺凌是具有威慑力的,因为欺凌之行的不会在老师的眼皮子底下发生,而且被欺负的孩子们胆怯得不敢说出实情也是常有的事。不过,正如她所说的,真相会在这些安全私密的小纸条上呈现出来。 As Chase’s teacher explained this simple, ingenious idea, I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. “How long have you been using this system?” I said. Ever since Columbine, she said. Every single Friday afternoon since Columbine. Good Lord. 蔡斯的老师在描述这样一个听着简单却创意十足的点子时,我真的惊得目瞪口呆。“你实施这套方案有多久了?”我问她。“自从科伦拜恩校园枪击事件①之后”,她回答到。天哪!自从科伦拜恩事件之后的每个礼拜五! This brilliant woman watched Columbine knowing that all violence begins with disconnection. All outward violence begins as inner loneliness. She watched that tragedy knowing that children who aren’t being noticed may eventually resort to being noticed by any means necessary. 这个聪明的女人在看了有关科伦拜恩的新闻报道后,发现“脱节”是所有暴力的导火索。所有外在的暴力都是由内心的孤独引发的。在她看了这一悲剧后,她知道那些不被重视的孩子,或许为了引起注意,最终会求助于一切可能的手段。 And so she decided to start fighting violence early and often in the world within her reach. What Chase’s teacher is doing when she sits in her empty classroom studying those lists written with shaky 11-year-old hands is saving lives. I am convinced of it. And what this mathematician has learned while using this system is something she really already knew: that everything—even love, even belonging—has a pattern to it. She finds the patterns, and through those lists she breaks the codes of disconnection. Then she gets lonely kids the help they need. It’s math to her. It’s math. 因此,她决定在她力所能及的世界里,尽早的展开对抗暴力的举措,并坚持下去。当蔡斯的老师坐在空空的教室里仔细审视这些由11岁稚嫩的小手写的纸条时,我坚信,她是在拯救生命。这位数学工作者在这一方案中所收获的,正如她所知:所有的一切——就算是爱,就算是归属——都有一种固有的模式。她成功地找到了这些模式,通过这些纸条名单,她打破了隔阂。她帮助了那些孤独的孩子。这就是她的数学。是的,这就是数学。 All is love—even math. Amazing. 一切皆因爱,数学也一样。这真是太神奇了。 Chase’s teacher retires this year. What a way to spend a life: looking for patterns of love and loneliness. Stepping in, every single day, and altering the trajectory of our world 蔡斯的老师今年就要退休了。这就是她生活的方式:寻找爱和孤独的模式。介入其中,自始自终,我们世界的轨迹因此改变了。
注释:①科伦拜校园事件是1999年4月20日在美国科罗拉多州杰佛逊郡科伦拜中学(Columbine High School)发生的校园枪击事件。两名青少年学生—埃里克·哈里斯(Eric Harris)和迪伦·克莱伯德(Dylan Klebold)配备枪械和爆炸物进入校园,枪杀了12名学生和1名教师,造成其他24人受伤,两人接着自自杀身亡。这起事件被视为美国历史上最血腥校园枪击事件之一。
翻译:Kelsey 校对:小潮 总监 :小潮 副总监 :攸宁 树屋字幕组-文翻组 翻译仅供学习交流,严禁用于商业用途 PDF文档下载:
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